Dear Old Navy...

Oh nemesis. Keeper of the LONG checkout line. Master of the coupon. We visited you Sunday and your aisles released to us some rockstar jeggings, great for school, karate, and dance. And as a mother this makes me happy because when my kid has all 3 in one day, it means less washing. It means less time spent picking up random dirty clothing within 3" of the hamper in the bathroom. You know. Because it is impossible to get your dirties IN the hamper after living for a whole day...

But I digress...

So I bought a pair. They are perfect. Madame Secretary (the 10 yr old) says to buy MORE. So I go online...to what is obviously the 4th circle of Dante's hell...to purchase 3 more of the exact same pair. Because nothing says "I have sensory issues" more than 4 pairs of the same pants you alternate for 2 weeks.

I am the Queen of the coupon, so I manage to buy 2 pair and basically get the 3rd free. Causing me to go into my best "tightwad" dance I can muster after a LONG ass day.... a day that started with my main man... Ruben the Magical Taco Truck KING...not being open. (Cue sad music) (cue Mexican sad music) (Wait...IS there any Mexican sad music? All the Tejano and Cumbia music I rock out to is happy, and says.. I won the lottery and nothing else matters!)

But... no... your site has bigger plans for me. Your website declines BOTH of our Old Navy cards because "there is a security issue". Even though there's a zero balance. Did Hannibal Lector pay it off and you flagged him when he bought Brandy?

How you toy with emotions.

I can only assume you did this on purpose, so you could have us IN store next Sunday, making your lowest paid cashier deal with the problem on the weekend before Valentine's Day.

I am going to go assume, that with our luck, we will get the cashier that doesn't want to be there, or deal with the weirdness that we are about to inflict. And we will end up on the phone with Jake from State Farm's sister (see yesterday's post) so she can look up the account and charge the purchase.

I just want 3 more pairs of Rockstar jeggings JUST like the ONLY pair you had at the Barton Creek Mall in Madame Secretary's size.

Sunday we will enter the 5th circle...JUST to get to the physical store ... so we can encounter the, like, 99th circle.

Kudos to you, Old Navy. And here's a pointer... no one wants pineapple print in February.